"I have a Papel-boner!"

I cannot, will not say it better than this:

It's All Over in Colorado: Sox Win World Series, Beat Rockies 4-3

Oct 29, 2007:

Four-Gone Conclusion!

(Getty Images Photo / Jeff Gross)

The Sox Are On Top of the World, Again!

How Sweep It Is! The Boston Red Sox Have Won the World Series
Lowell and Behold! Iron Mike Is the World Series MVP
Papelbon Shuts Down the Rox for Save

Kielty As Charged!

(Getty Images Photo / Stephen Dunn)

Bobby's Blast Was a Difference Maker

Chica Tip #6

Contrary to popular belief, buying your own condoms ahead of time does not, in fact, prevent you from having copious amounts of sex that night.

Prevention First!

Just sayin'.

"This guy threw out his own son in a father son game."

Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts.

The Boston Dirt Dogs are really giving it to Manny - as well they should. This whole thing makes me nervous. My tummy hurts. I need to lay off of the caffeine:

Raise Your Hands If You Don't Care Who Wins

The New Media Go-To Guy Doesn't Have a Care in the World, But the Home Run Poser Better Show Us the Money Tonight
Manny on the Playoffs: Who Cares?
Discuss: There's Always Next Year
"It doesn't happen, so who cares? There's always next year. It's not like it's the end of the world." -- 10.17.07, Manny Ramirez, who reminds us that at the end of the day, he goes home with millions, so who cares?

Papelbon breaks it down

These guys are my heroes.

Chica Tip #3

When calling someone for a late-night booty call, don't pull a Molly Jackson® and fall asleep/pass out before he gets there...

(Text says, "You're Never too old for a "Booty Call." I concur.)

(Yes, it's totally trademarked now. Respect.)

Emotional Fu*kwit

My tummy really hurt last night. It hurt so bad, I couldn't move. Hell - I barely made it home. Same situation as last Friday, but almost worse. What's wrong with me? If this is a stress-related injury... oy.

So, I was regulated to the bed which means, since my dang Tivo is broken, I had to watch a DVD. What did I watch? Surely something with the dreamy Jason Schwartzman (I hear you thinking), but you'd be wrong if you guessed Rushmore, Slackers, or Marie Antoinette. Nope, instead I chose Bridget Jones's Diary because, well, I felt like I could relate. And relate I did:

Resolution #1: uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.

Wow did THAT have my name all over it, or what?

I'm ready for the fall.

Chica Tip #1

Here is the first of, what I hope will be, many "chica tips" - MJ style:

You probably weren't that into him if... ... after you break-up with your boyfriend, you say this:

"... and that was it. I mean, it was over. I went shopping at Wegmans afterwards. For MILK!"

Good decision, MS. You've got my support, 100%.