it was a total shitstorm

(Illustration by Kyle T. Webster)

Now, I know this may upset some of those (ok, one of those) involved - it's still a touchy subject - but it's too funny to let go without a bit o' blogging... and so, I give you, "Party Pooper," as told by The Washington City Paper:

On March 24, a group of women organized a birthday party at the Dupont Circle bar. Mark Karns, a 28-year-old from Chicago, and his friends surveyed the scene nearby.

Then, all of a sudden, two “big guys” barreled toward the girls, screaming. One of them wore a green blazer, Karns remembers. And on his shoulder appeared to be a big pile of shit.

The shit, it seems, came from a container of Insta-Poop, a can of fake feces that, according to Karns, looked and smelled remarkably real. Best as Karns could make out, someone at the bar—maybe one of the birthday girls or maybe some other “diabolical mischievous person”—had stooped over the railing of the Big Hunt’s second floor and sprayed the patrons below. Whoever the culprit, the Insta-Poop attack created quite a stink.

Read more here.

Now, I won't go into the many details that the writer and eye (shoulder?)-witnesses got wrong (I was there, so I would know!), but I will say this: It was, truly, the night "Patrons [got] shitfaced at the Big Hunt." Who knew that a pre-birthday can of Insta-Poop would be such a hit? Or that it would keep a certain group of ladies from ever showing their faces in The Big Hunt ever again? For real - we had nothing to do with this... we were simply witness to the onslaught. Sure, we brought the poop, but we never intended to use it on someone. But it's a lovely place and you should absolutely patronize their watering hole.

Good times.