Emotional Fu*kwit

My tummy really hurt last night. It hurt so bad, I couldn't move. Hell - I barely made it home. Same situation as last Friday, but almost worse. What's wrong with me? If this is a stress-related injury... oy.

So, I was regulated to the bed which means, since my dang Tivo is broken, I had to watch a DVD. What did I watch? Surely something with the dreamy Jason Schwartzman (I hear you thinking), but you'd be wrong if you guessed Rushmore, Slackers, or Marie Antoinette. Nope, instead I chose Bridget Jones's Diary because, well, I felt like I could relate. And relate I did:

Resolution #1: uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.

Wow did THAT have my name all over it, or what?

I'm ready for the fall.